Love; It is romantic, mysterious and grand. And on Valentine’s Day, millions of us celebrate and express our love in the form of chocolates, cards, gifts and flowers.
But is there anything more romantic, mysterious or grand than couples whose love has stood the test of time and are still enjoying 35, 40, 45 or 50 plus years of happily ever after?
So what is the secret to splendid love and long-term marriage?
Four couples considered this question. They are generous with their thoughts and honest in their evaluations because they believe that marriage is a sacred union, that it is an important element of a solid family life, and that it can be enjoyed for a lifetime.
Following are their own words on love and marriage.
************
Merry & Tony Bouscaren - Married October 28th 1972
Celebrating 35 years together,
”We met in Aspen. He was a ski bum. I was recovering from a near fatal car accident and had gone to recover there for a week. On my way into the Cellar, a bar in town, this guy grabs hold of me and says ‘pretend we are engaged and we will get in for free’. – And the rest is history.”
“Marriage begins as a passionate relationship. That relationship turns into an intimacy between the couple. Finally, a couple ends their years in the most intimate friendship with their mate. To be assured you have found the right partner, center on their ethics and beliefs. You two must agree completely. With that absolute foundation, a couple can grow. If there is anything you "don't like" or you "don't agree" with it – work it out. It will be much harder to maintain a marriage with any happiness in it, if you don’t both learn to compromise. Like a crack in a house foundation, the issue will magnify and become unendurable. Finally, be dependable, responsible and unpredictable. Marriage is fun.”
*****************
Helen & Carl Jaeger - Married Fall of 1968
Celebrating 40 years together
“We met on an arranged blind date at an Ivy League football game in Philadelphia in Nov. of 1966. By halftime he'd lost his voice yelling for his Alma Mater - a typical occurrence she later realized. Dating began with trips between NY City and Connecticut, though she almost sent him the wrong way - no sense of direction he soon learned.
In July of 1968 we were married in the local church with the reception being held right up the hill in the house where she grew up. 2 children, 2 daughters-in-law, and 2 granddaughters later, we will celebrate an early 40th in Hawaii this month. How did they do it?
He: Patience, flexibility, and acceptance of each other's strengths and weaknesses.
She: Sense of humor, shared values, love of family.
They: Give each other "space." Yes, we do love each other, but we also like who the other person is.”
*********************
Barb and Gary Gatewood. Married fall of 1962. Celebrating 45 years together.
They both went to the same high school but did not know each other. With an upcoming hayride pending and no one to ask, a friend of Barb’s suggested she invite this cute redheaded boy. It was Gary.
GARY – “Our marriage of 45 years has many ups and downs, and it takes the ability to be able to grow, learn, and listen to each other that lets you get through those periods of downs. Whenever your communication, pride, patience, and love are challenged, it's the Faith that helps you focus and get through your troubles.
It also helps to have a spouse who is willing to work hard to make the marriage work. Hard work keeps the egos in tact and acknowledges there is a difference in husband and wife. This difference shows up every day and must be understood to help you get through your life together.
We are two living as one; but all of us are very different and we need to be our own person as well as be one in marriage. Be patient, learn to listen, recognize the other person's space, be thoughtful, communicate, and most of all work at your faith.”
BARB – “I believe commitment has been one of the great strengths for me ... remembering our original love, and the vows made with all my young heart. Our marriage has come through many ups and downs ... times of almost wanting to give up. But Jesus was the Anchor that held us secure; the Strength needed when we were weak. I have learned that the "bumps" are what we grow on when we allow them to. They have matured me, given me new understanding of my husband and myself, and shown me God's unending grace and unfailing love. Marriage requires patience, on-going forgiveness, respect for one another, unconditional love, and the willingness and gift of God to let go the old and prayerfully begin again.”
*********************
Mimi and Werner Wind – Married Feb 15th 1954
Celebrating 54 years together.
As a young girl, Mimi was living in Belgium when the Americans came in 1944. Soldiers and doctors flooded her home. As repayment for the families’ hospitality, one of the doctors and his wife invited Mimi to America when she was old enough to travel. Eight years later, aboard a fateful ship bound for the United States, she met Werner. After 3 days of talking, afternoon games of ping-pong, and walking along a moonlit deck, a deep kinship was born. They went their separate ways upon landing, but true love could not keep them apart. Werner arrived at her doorstep years later and within a week they were engaged. They married in Switzerland three months later.
“Having good family values matter, honesty and integrity in how we care for each other and reverence for our marriage. We did not live together first, and we have always treated our relationship as something special. The three essential ingredients are love, respect and a sense of humor. We count on each other, especially in the hard times. We have faced some daunting challenges and we got through by being there for one and other. Marriage is not 50-50, it is both of you putting in 100%. Today there is too much of “me” and not enough of “us”. Consider “us” and that will make your marriage unique and extraordinary.”
*******************
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment