To Forgive is Divine

“To err is human, to forgive, divine.”  It was Alexander Pope, the great eighteenth century poet who famously penned these words in his “Essay on Criticism”.  He posits the great human dilemma that all people commit sins and make mistakes but God is willing to forgive them. Can we, in turn, act Godlike and extend that kind of forgiveness to others?

 

Having just celebrated the Easter holiday, we all recognize why Christ went to the cross. The cross of Christ points to the fact that Jesus died for the sins of the world so that man could be back in right relationship with God. It is the greatest illustration of sacrificial love the world has ever known and a testament to how much God cares for mankind.

 

So what can we learn about forgiveness and how can we follow the example of Christ to bestow a similar kind of divine love to our neighbors, friends, family and the world around us?

 

 

In Matthew 18:21-22, the disciple, Peter asks the same question. “Then Peter came and said to Jesus, Lord, if one sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy times seven.”

 

This passage can be a good measuring stick for how we are doing in our own relational life when it comes to forgiving others and having others forgive us.

 

Katherine M. Piderman, Ph.D., staff chaplain at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn., discusses forgiveness and how it can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well being. “The practice of forgiveness is not simply a one-time action or an isolated feeling or thought. Forgiveness involves us in a whole way of life that is shaped by an ever-deepening friendship with God and with other people. The central goal of this practice is to reconcile, to restore communion - with God, with one another, and with the whole creation.”

 

 

There is no one definition of forgiveness but it does involve a decision to let go of resentment and embrace a progression toward positive change.  Rick Warren, author of the “Purpose Driven Life”, gives give a four-step plan on how to start the practice of forgiveness. 

 

He recommends talking with God first because often conflict is rooted in unmet needs.  Some of those needs may not be able to be met by anyone but God. Secondly, he tells us to take the initiative to restore the damaged relationship. Waiting will often lead to resentments building up over time.  Third, he urges us to sympathize with the other person’s feelings and then search for and confess our part in the conflict. Fourth, he reminds us to attack the problem not the person.  Emphasize reconciliation not resolution. Reverend Warren says it is unrealistic to expect complete agreement and tells us to focus on the relationship not the problem.

 

Forgiveness is something virtually all Americans aspire to -- 94% surveyed in a nationwide Gallup poll said it was important to forgive.  However in reality, we are not living up to our own ideals.  It turns out forgiveness is something we don’t offer frequently. (In the same survey, only 48% said they usually tried to forgive others.)

 

Forgiveness is not easy and can be especially daunting if the other person neither admits wrongdoing nor speaks of regret. Getting the other person to change their actions, behavior or words isn't the point of forgiveness. Think of forgiveness as a way to also change your life.  It will bring you more peace, happiness, and emotional healing. Each time we witness an act of forgiveness we marvel at it’s power to restore.  It breaks a seemingly unending cycle of pain.  We can be part of that healing process ourselves.

 

 

The season surrounding Easter is a joyful reminder that God's love and grace is the power behind forgiveness.  We can access that supernatural influence to forgive others, overcome resentment, redeem relationships and most importantly show love and mercy to a hurting world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Giving Thanks

Giving Thanks At Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is an exceptional holiday.  It is filled with so many great American traditions.  Among them are fresh roast turkey with all the trimmings, homemade pudding, pies, cakes and cobblers, hot apple cider, dining tables spilling over with guests, children diving into huge leaf piles with cousins the rarely see, The Macy’s Parade, and our favorite pastime……football.

However, no matter how we spend Thanksgiving Day, the one thing we all have in common is that we get to take the occasion to deeply and profoundly acknowledge all the blessings we are grateful for. 

As our National Anthem reminds us, America truly is the “the land of the free” and “the home of the brave” and there are many people to thanks for that.

Of course there are the Pilgrims who left their homeland in pursuit of freedom only to arrive in the New World in the dead of winter after spending months at sea. 

Luckily upon landing, they were greeted by the Wampanoag Indians who lived in the Massachusetts’ Bay area. They shared their knowledge of crops, land and navigation so the English could survive.  Together they established the first Thanksgiving in 1621 with the ritual of feasting and celebrating their good fortune.

Then on October 3^rd, 1789, George Washington penned one of the first Thanksgiving Proclamations to insure we set this day aside as something special and sacred.  He wrote, “Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor, and whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness”.

And today we have the men and women of the armed forces, police officers, firemen, and all the volunteer organizations such as Post 53 who keep us safe and secure so we can continue to enjoy daily life that is filled with liberties much of the world will never see.

Gratitude is a huge part of American life, heritage and ethics. Dr Robert Emmons, professor and scholar on the “science of gratitude”, believes that being thankful is an important dimension of how we deal with one and other. He says gratitude is one of the building blocks of a civil and humane society.

He writes in his latest book Thanks, “First of all gratitude is the acknowledgment of goodness in one’s life.  Second it is recognizing that this goodness comes from outside ourselves. One can be grateful to other people and to God but never to oneself.  Thankfulness is directed outward to the giver of gifts”.    

Gratitude can also benefit you personally and can make a real change in how you view the world.  According to another recent bestseller, Thank You Power, test studies were done using volunteers in 3 groups to test if gratitude can really make a difference in one’s life.  Group 1 focused on the “hassles” of daily life.  Group 2 focused on “ordinary life events” and group 3 focused on “all the things they were grateful for”. 

The results were dramatic.

Group 3 reported fewer ailments, were less depressed, less anxious, and less envious of other people.  They spent more time exercising, had more joy, more energy, and got more sleep.  Moreover they were perceived by other people to be more optimistic, more helpful and more compassionate. 

Ben Stein, writer, actor and economist, recently wrote an article in the American Spectator on gratitude.  He points out the difference between being rich and feeling rich. 

 “A few days ago, I was driving golf balls in my usual pitiful way, all by myself on the driving range, when suddenly a warm breeze came out of nowhere and washed me in common sense.” He writes, “I am here on this beautiful grass, I suddenly thought. The sky is azure blue. The palm fronds are rustling nearby. No one is trying to kill me. I've just had a great lunch. My health is decent. I have my wife waiting for me at home and our dogs.  I am a happy, happy guy. I am grateful, and that is being rich. Gratitude is wealth. Gratitude for what you have right now. Gratitude especially for what you have now that so many people would die for, gratitude for what you have now that won’t last”.

Finding A Job You Love (Part 1)

Career satisfaction; now that is something we are all in search of.  Whether you are a stay at home mom, a photographer, a teacher, a carpenter, or a Wall Street tycoon, every single one of us wants to find meaning and purpose in our work life.   And since we spend more time working than doing anything else, making the best possible career choice can greatly impact the overall quality of our lives.

John Liptak, a leading expert on career development and career assessment says that a career is each person’s attempt to implement a particular lifestyle, made up of work, leisure and learning. Moreover, he has determined that people who have the highest occupational fulfillment have discovered work and work environments that allow them to express their complete personality. 

The truth is that we are all searching for wholesome, productive, positive work that fully expresses who we are. We want to find something that combines our values, personality, interests and abilities, and wraps it all up into a career that not only pays the bills but also feeds our spirit.

It is about self-actualization in the work place. We each have the same universal desire to use our God given gifts and talents to realize personal visions and dreams.  Simply put, we want to love what we do, and do what we love, while making our very own unique contribution to the world.

Not only does the career question haunt many of us, it is also an elemental question of identity. 

“What should I do with my life?” is the question that Po Bronson set out to answer in his bestselling book with a title of the same name. Mr. Bronson left a very lucrative but stifling job in the financial sector to follow the promptings of his inner voice and pursued his dream of being a writer.  He dedicated 3 years to interviewing numerous people of all ages and professions about how they transformed their lives to align with their “true calling”. 

Mr. Bronson says the question of a career calling is really the modern, secular version of the great timeless question of who am I and where do I belong? 

He writes,  “ It is a little more pragmatic than its philosophical and religious antecedents, reflecting the bottom line reality that we can search for our identity only so long without making ends meet.  Asking the question aspires to end the conflict between who you are and what you do.  Answering the question is the way to protect yourself from being lathed into something your not”

He goes onto to report that this question is at the heart of people at every income level, “The biggest misconception is that this question only matters to over educated Americans suffering from ennui, when in fact most people find this question important to them”.

New York University recently conducted a periodic trend survey on the very question of career satisfaction. 24 percent of NYC, college-educated adults responded that they were "not too" or "not at all" satisfied with their current job.

The findings indicated that workers are frustrated and crave more responsibility and meaning from their jobs. 56 percent of those polled said they want greater fulfillment from their work and that money motivations were no longer their number one reason for job satisfaction.

And a recent ABC News/Wall Street Journal survey revealed that 50 percent of today’s workforce would pursue a different line of work given the opportunity. 

Most of us have some idea about what we are interested in doing and the life we want to lead, but it is easy to get distracted.  Society, family, peer pressure and financial responsibility are all influencing factors and often these outside messages muddle our inner truth.

So is there a way to discover your passion and have it intersect at the crossroads of your work life?  The first step is to find something that you really enjoy doing. Exploring the following questions may help.

 

What do you spend hours reading about?

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

What would you do if money were not a concern?

What would you do if you knew your life was ending?

What are you naturally and uniquely gifted to do?

Once you establish some possible career options, then you need to investigate whether or not these possibilities will actually work for you and your lifestyle.  Part 2 of this article will look at career assessment and how to go about investigating a particular career match.

It is important that each of us finds that thing that nourishes us, challenges us and helps us to grow. When we stop and look at the landscape of our lives, we want our personal story to be significant. Having a meaningful career is a big part of that endeavor.

(Tracy Fox is teaching a one evening workshop in career assessment through Darien Continuing Ed.  You can go online to register)

 

Finding A Job You Love (Part 2)

(Part 2)

Finding the perfect career is an extremely personal journey.  Each of us has our own internal model of what is important, meaningful and interesting in our work life. Some need to express their highest ideals and others simply want to find something they enjoy doing.  

What is clear from research and opinion polling, however, is that for most of us a paycheck is not a significant enough motivation for career satisfaction.  So how do you find that job that not only pays the bills but also fuels your passions and gives you a renewed enthusiasm for your work-life?

Career assessment is a wonderful tool to foster exploration and provoke discussion about career alternatives.  

The original concept of career assessment was theorized by Frank Parsons in his book “Choosing a Vocation” in 1909. His contribution to career development later became the foundation for one of the foremost assessment tests referred to as trait and factor.  “The term trait refers to a characteristic of an individual that can be measured through testing.  Factor refers to a characteristic that is required for successful job performance”.  According to his theory, when the trait and factor match, then a successful career has been chosen.

Parsons relied on interviewing clients on several different areas of their lives since there were no standardized tests early on.  He would start with an inquiry of what you enjoy doing (interests), then ask how well you do it (aptitudes and achievements) and finally he would talk through aspects of your life that were important to you (values).  All of this would then conclude with a thorough discovery of your personality.  Once all these traits were organized, then careers were matched according to the obvious factors.

Today, a wide variety of sophisticated approaches can be used to assess everything from personality typing (Myers-Briggs) to work environment (Values Testing), to family work history (Career Genogram).  Each of these tests can give you definitive answers on suitable careers and clear insight into what will make you the happiest at work.  

Although self-assessment testing is referred to as the first and most crucial step in career selection, the understanding of particular occupations is also very important.  Specifically, it is valuable to know requirements for success, compensation, advancement opportunities and work culture.  The more you know about a particular job, the better you can forecast if this is the right career for you.

Here are some additional thoughts if you are considering going back to work, changing jobs, or just want to investigate work options.

• Talk to a career counselor or coach.  When considering a new career, often you just need a fresh perspective and someone to listen with an open mind.  

• Research a job through informational interviewing. Call a company that specializes in the career you are thinking about and ask as many questions as possible.  Go in and see someone in personnel.

• Shadow.  Spend the day with someone who is already doing what you are thinking about.  The reality of the day-to-day operations may give you a new point of view on that particular job.

• Take a class.  NYU, Fairfield University, Norwalk Community College and Darien Public Schools all offer continuing education courses in a variety of subjects from how to become a published author to starting your own business.  

• Spend some time on the World Wide Web.  Get a realistic picture of incomes and job requirements. Here are some website you may not know about: 

Onet – #1 site for occupational information – hosted by the Department of Labor

Women@Work Network - women returning to the workplace who are still concerned with balancing family priorities

Idealist.Org - job placement in the not for profit segment 

• Try Vocation/Vocations, a company that enables you to “test drive your dream job”.  They will set you up in the actual drivers seat of any number of hundreds of professions. For one to three days you will experience total immersion in the career of your choice. You can experience life as a country singer, run your own Bed & Breakfast or be a sports announcer. 

Career selection is really both an art and a science.  It is well worth taking the time to contemplate all of your options.  Dream jobs really do exist, you just have to find the one that works best for you.

Happiness

Happiness

The topic of happiness seems to be cropping up everywhere lately.  I am not sure if you noticed but The Pursuit of Happyness was a blockbuster hit at the movies last year.  Oprah devoted her daytime special to a show on “happiness” for a second time last month, back by popular demand.  And believe it or not, according to the Boston Globe, the #1 attended class at Harvard University teaches happiness.  That is right, “Positive Psychology”

has more enrolled students than “Introductory Economics”.  Now Tal Ben-Shahar, the teacher of this popular college class, has published his best seller, Happier.

What is happiness?  Why is everyone in search of it?  And can you really find the secret to a happy life?  These are the questions everyone wants the answers to.

If you search for books about happiness on Amazon, 213,494 entries come up. That is a lot of books on happiness. There is the Art of Happiness, Authentic Happiness and The Architecture of Happiness. You can find Happiness Now, The History of Happiness or Happiness in a Storm. Even Anna Quindlen got in on the act with A Short Guide to a Happy Life.

So what is going on…has the search for the fountain of youth been replaced with the search for everlasting happiness?

As a country, we have always been interested in happiness.  In our own Declaration of Independence it is written, “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal and are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”.

 Happiness seems to come in three different packages.  

There is temporary happiness, like the moment you find out you actually have some of the winning numbers in the Lotto drawing.  That is intense, but it is also fleeting, like when your power ball turns out to be a 6 instead of the winning 9. 

Then there is sustained emotional happiness where you experience deeper, more meaningful moments of joy because you love someone or you stand up for something you believe in.

And finally there is lifelong happiness. That is what most of us are searching for. We want to find a way to enjoy every single day of our lives regardless of our circumstances.  It is a state of well being, serenity and blissful peace we want to capture and keep.

One way of knowing just how happy you are is to take the “How Happy Are You?” test.  Oprah gave this test to her audience members.  Simply answer these 5 statements in terms of how true they are in your own life.

#1 In most ways my life is close to ideal.

#2 The conditions of my life are excellent. 

#3 I am satisfied with my life.

#4 So far I have gotten the important things in life.

#5 If I had to live my life over, I would change almost nothing.

If you can answer “absolutely true” to all 5 of them, you may have found true happiness.

Research has shown that happy people live longer, enjoy better health and function better.

Dr. Myles Munro, a minister and international best selling author, believes that although many of us seem to be enjoying a huge degree of outward success, there are a growing number of people who are inwardly bankrupt.

He summarizes the problem by saying this, “It seems that our society has confused success with fulfillment, accomplishment with satisfaction and achievement with peace”.  

In your own search for happiness, these simple steps may be enormously helpful.

Be yourself!!  It is only through being whom you truly are that you will find your ultimate purpose and destiny.  Purpose is the single most important source of personal fulfillment we have.  Don’t let the world’s standard of success determine what you stand for or who you are going to be.

Have Faith!!  Believing in God gives you a foundation to handle the daily trials and tribulations that come in every day life.  

Count Your Blessings!!  We all have a lot to be thankful about. We live in an outstanding community and are surrounded by vast natural beauty.  We have friends and family that love us, food on our tables, and children tucked safely into bed at night. Our riches overflow and our gifts are abundant.

Surround yourself with positive people!!  Make sure the people you spend time with encourage you, support you, compliment you, include you and make time for you. 

Give something away every day!! A smile, a home cooked meal, a moment of your time, a compliment, an apology, a ride to a tired cleaning lady, a dollar to the man on the corner grate.  Whatever you give away, always comes back around. 

Finally, find something you enjoy doing and do it!!  Having something to look forward to is another key ingredient to enjoying life.  Take that class you’ve been thinking about, book that trip to your dream destination and eat those chocolate chip cookies.  As a good friend of mine constantly reminds me, “This is not a dress rehearsal!”

Life Lessons At A Funeral

Edward Francis Donohue. 

 October 3^rd 1929 – November 20^th 2007.  

It was the funeral of a good friend’s father. Hundreds packed the St. Catharine Roman Catholic Church on a cold wintry morning to pay their last respects. In the front pews sat his loving wife of 53 years, 5 grown children accompanied by respective spouses, and a myriad of adoring and bereft grandchildren, tears silently falling from each and every face.

Funerals are always sad but they also provide a remarkable opportunity to look death straight in the face while pondering the true meaning of our own lives. 

The loss of this distinguished man was palpable. Mr. Donohue was a devoted father, loving husband, lifelong friend, doting grandfather, exceptional businessman, patriot, and a lover of the arts, education, religion, and world travel. 

Mixed in with the heartbreak was also absolute celebration for a man who derived fun and significance in the ordinary moments of a day; a man who loved to sing and dance and tell a gentleman’s joke; a man who remembered your name and was always glad to see you; a man who understood not to take things too seriously even though life was serious business.

But something else happened that morning at the church.

As the stories and the tributes to Mr. Donohue’s life began to emerge, those who had gathered to remember him knew they were in the presence of something special. With each passing word, life lessons were being taught that were so profound and important, you could not help but be transformed by the accounts of what this man had done with his 78 years. 

It was not the big things that were ultimately impressive; his noteworthy financial success, achievements and accolades, or his ability to rise out of the mire of a childhood spent during the Great Depression.   Instead, it was his personal philosophy regarding integrity, truth and life standards that, in fact, defined him as “one of a kind”.

The things he believed in took commitment and discipline and sacrifice, but he was willing to invest in all three. He knew that reaching for ideals in daily life was difficult, but he also considered it a necessary and practical element of a life well lived. 

Following are the lessons that Edward Francis Donohue left behind for all of our benefit. His children, grandchildren and friends gave the following testimony to the man they admired and the man who had cemented for them the value of honorable conduct.

Respect the sanctity of marriage:  How easy it is on those bright, hopeful days of a wedding to say your vows.  Full of glee and champagne and hope of a bright future - we all mean them.  But working them out day-by-day, through the hills and valleys of marital and family life takes endurance and commitment.  To be on your deathbed, with love and reverence in your heart for your bride of 53 years, and be able to say, “till death do us part” …that is another matter entirely.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all. Words can build up or words can destroy.  Choose what you say carefully and be a person that contributes to the esteem of others.  Mr. Donohue made a life decision to not take part in gossip, slander or disparaging remarks when speaking of another person.  

Love and serve your country.  Mr. Donohue was awarded the American Flag at his burial for sacrifice and service rendered. Imagine for a moment the courage it takes to be willing to die for your country.  It is sacred distinction.

Glorify God.  Invest in weekly church attendance, prayer, and caring for those less fortunate.  Spend time getting to know your part in Divine purpose.

Get a good education.  There is so much to learn and so many great teachers.  Gain knowledge and dedicate yourself to higher education at all levels because it will serve you for a lifetime.

Make sure everyone is included. Rally around those people who aren’t the winners in life.  Mr. Donohue made it his mission to continue to care for the widows of his friends that had passed on.  He went door to door at baseball season and found the little boy who couldn’t swing a bat and put him on the team anyway. He rallied around those who didn’t have the confidence to pull themselves up and out of bad situations. He believed in embracing all people.

Care about what your friends care about. Remember the names and birthdays of your friends’ children; stay in touch with people who are close to you; show up when invited - even when you don’t feel like it, not because it is important to you, but because it is important to them.

Put your best foot forward. Dress well and look your best. First impressions are no soon forgotten and you never know who will cross your path.  Mr. Donohue greeted the day with a smile on his face and a zest for living in his heart.

Be happy for other people’s success. 

It’s true what they say about it being lonely at the top.  So celebrate when others do well.  Be delighted for them and then wish the same for yourself.

  

Admire Individuality. Edward loved the variation of people in the world.  Where others shied away from differences, he found them irresistible. He asserted that you could find joy and interest in every person you meet because he knew there was vast treasure hidden there.

Finally, life is a gift.  So treat it that way and it will respond in kind. 

********

They say the greatest contribution a man can make is the people he leaves behind. As all of us headed home that November afternoon, we felt uplifted, inspired and grateful that this exceptional man had been part of our liv

On Love And Marriage

Love; It is romantic, mysterious and grand. And on Valentine’s Day, millions of us celebrate and express our love in the form of chocolates, cards, gifts and flowers. 

But is there anything more romantic, mysterious or grand than couples whose love has stood the test of time and are still enjoying 35, 40, 45 or 50 plus years of happily ever after?

So what is the secret to splendid love and long-term marriage?  

Four couples considered this question. They are generous with their thoughts and honest in their evaluations because they believe that marriage is a sacred union, that it is an important element of a solid family life, and that it can be enjoyed for a lifetime.

Following are their own words on love and marriage. 

************

Merry & Tony Bouscaren - Married October 28^th 1972

Celebrating 35 years together,

”We met in Aspen. He was a ski bum.  I was recovering from a near fatal car accident and had gone to recover there for a week.   On my way into the Cellar, a bar in town, this guy grabs hold of me and says ‘pretend we are engaged and we will get in for free’. – And the rest is history.”

“Marriage begins as a passionate relationship.  That relationship turns into an intimacy between the couple.  Finally, a couple ends their years in the most intimate friendship with their mate.  To be assured you have found the right partner, center on their ethics and beliefs.  You two must agree completely.  With that absolute foundation, a couple can grow.  If there is anything you "don't like" or you "don't agree" with it – work it out.  It will be much harder to maintain a marriage with any happiness in it, if you don’t both learn to compromise.  Like a crack in a house foundation, the issue will magnify and become unendurable. Finally, be dependable, responsible and unpredictable. Marriage is fun.”

*****************

Helen & Carl Jaeger  - Married Fall of 1968 

Celebrating 40 years together

“We met on an arranged blind date at an Ivy League football game in Philadelphia in Nov. of 1966.  By halftime he'd lost his voice yelling for his Alma Mater - a typical occurrence she later realized.  Dating began with trips between NY City and Connecticut, though she almost sent him the wrong way - no sense of direction he soon learned.

In July of 1968 we were married in the local church with the reception being held right up the hill in the house where she grew up.  2 children, 2 daughters-in-law, and 2 granddaughters later, we will celebrate an early 40th in Hawaii this month.  How did they do it?

He:  Patience, flexibility, and acceptance of each other's strengths and weaknesses.

She:  Sense of humor, shared values, love of family.

They:  Give each other "space."  Yes, we do love each other, but we also like who the other person is.”

*********************

Barb and Gary Gatewood.  Married fall of 1962.  Celebrating 45 years together.  

They both went to the same high school but did not know each other.  With an upcoming hayride pending and no one to ask, a friend of Barb’s suggested she invite this cute redheaded boy.  It was Gary.  

GARY – “Our marriage of 45 years has many ups and downs, and it takes the ability to be able to grow, learn, and listen to each other that lets you get through those periods of downs. Whenever your communication, pride, patience, and love are challenged, it's the Faith that helps you focus and get through your troubles.

It also helps to have a spouse who is willing to work hard to make the marriage work.  Hard work keeps the egos in tact and acknowledges there is a difference in husband and wife.  This difference shows up every day and must be understood to help you get through your life together.

We are two living as one; but all of us are very different and we need to be our own person as well as be one in marriage.  Be patient, learn to listen, recognize the other person's space, be thoughtful, communicate, and most of all work at your faith.”

BARB – “I believe commitment has been one of the great strengths for me ... remembering our original love, and the vows made with all my young heart.  Our marriage has come through many ups and downs ... times of almost wanting to give up.  But Jesus was the Anchor that held us secure; the Strength needed when we were weak.  I have learned that the "bumps" are what we grow on when we allow them to.  They have matured me, given me new understanding of my husband and myself, and shown me God's unending grace and unfailing love.  Marriage requires patience, on-going forgiveness, respect for one another, unconditional love, and the willingness and gift of God to let go the old and prayerfully begin again.”

*********************

Mimi and Werner Wind – Married Feb 15^th 1954 

Celebrating 54 years together. 

As a young girl, Mimi was living in Belgium when the Americans came in 1944. Soldiers and doctors flooded her home. As repayment for the families’ hospitality, one of the doctors and his wife invited Mimi to America when she was old enough to travel. Eight years later, aboard a fateful ship bound for the United States, she met Werner. After 3 days of talking, afternoon games of ping-pong, and walking along a moonlit deck, a deep kinship was born. They went their separate ways upon landing, but true love could not keep them apart. Werner arrived at her doorstep years later and within a week they were engaged.  They married in Switzerland three months later.

“Having good family values matter, honesty and integrity in how we care for each other and reverence for our marriage. We did not live together first, and we have always treated our relationship as something special. The three essential ingredients are love, respect and a sense of humor.  We count on each other, especially in the hard times.  We have faced some daunting challenges and we got through by being there for one and other.  Marriage is not 50-50, it is both of you putting in 100%.  Today there is too much of “me” and not enough of “us”. Consider “us” and that will make your marriage unique and extraordinary.”

*******************

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!